On the 11th November 2020, as part of the TMA1402 Formative Assessment process, we were asked to, as a group, present our project to the tutors for the module and the rest of the students. Public speaking is known to be one of the top 10 fears people have (known as glossophobia), so how does this add up when you also add the pressure of this being part of your Master's degree?
Personally, I have had many experiences with public speaking, both for professional reasons and as part of personal development opportunities. As part of this I never truly fear public speaking as such these days, however, this does not stop the feeling of butterflies filling my stomach before it is my turn to speak. This sensation, yet again filled my stomach right before our group presentation at 12.15 pm.
We had rehearsed the presentation right before the proper version so we each had what we would like to say fresh in our minds, whilst also allowing for it to sound human and not too scripted as I felt was the case in some of the other presentation that had taken place that same day. For some reason, during the rehearsal version, during my areas of speaking (about our target audience, about my preliminary tests using various augmented reality software and about my personal and subject specialism specific response to the theme of "Portraits") I felt at times lost for words, I stumbled around what I wanted to say and left each piece feeling like what I had said was cloudy and with no direction. This naturally sent a feeling of dread through my body. Why was I not able to simply say what was in my mind? You would think, that after spending 12 weeks on this project, that the words would flow from the brain to the mouth like a stream...not like a tap with a blocked pipe. There was, however, no time to rehearse again and we wished each other good luck, whatever happened now was how it was meant to be.
It is strange then, that when my areas of speaking arose in the proper presentation, that I felt the words flow as I wanted. I didn't feel myself fumble for words to say, I didn't feel like I said "um" at all (or at least much, I'm unable to check this unfortunately as there was a failure in recording the presentation). I left the presentation feeling elated about how I had performed. This came at a welcome surprise, as I was, somewhat subconsciously, fearful that overtime of not presenting in such a formal way such as that, that I had maybe lost the "soft skill" of presenting. Thankfully, it must be like riding a bike, you never forget.
Feedback is something that, I am self-aware enough to know that I struggle with sometimes. This is an area for development and, I believe that is not simply an overnight task, however, I am working on this and I'm hoping that this degree will help me develop that "soft skill". After receiving the feedback from the tutors after the presentation, it was clear that I was not the only person in our group that struggled to hear the feedback given. The group Facebook chat channel started to explode with comments about how negative the comments were, that we were ripped apart and how some believed that the tutors did not fully understand the project, hence the feedback given. Admittedly, it was my partner that helped me see the feedback from a different view. That the feedback given was not to be "mean" and they didn't "rip" the project apart. It was a different level of feedback when compared to the other groups, which can only be a positive thing. They were points that can take our project to another level, and it was the feedback that I would expect to hear on an MA-level course. After approaching the group with this type of narrative and helping them see the feedback from this perspective, the narrative in the chat channel changed.
Sometimes, all you have to do is take a step back and take your emotions out of the situation to be able to see the full picture. That was the lesson I learnt that day and one that I believe will be invaluable in my professional career going forward.
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